Fuck man I can barely hold myself on here anymore, I stuffed my cute-as-shit fruit-hole so full of this balls-crushingly delicious flavor-sphere.

(via Ami 8)

Hey, get the fuck off my fruit, you fucking fruit-stealing motherfucker!

(via bossejonsson59)

Listen, asshole. One step closer to my food and you’re gettting a gusher of you-fucking-know-what in your foxy-ass face!

(via LaVeta Jude)

Now sit up straight and hold your carrot like this.

Listen to me when I fucking talk to you, young man!

(via Sun Chaser)

Why, yes. I was fucking born in a barn.

Why do you ask?

(via DCJLove)

Ah, fuck. I’m drunk as shit. I hope no one can tell. Hic.

(via Chawnce!)

Uh, it’s called fashion.

Now fuck off and let me eat my seeds. Eat them very stylishly, I might add.

(via
Bo van Veen)

You see what it said on the bag?  Cat Food. Cat food. Food for CATS. And you sure as fuck don’t look like any cat I’ve ever met.

(via rattatner)

Remember what this dormouse said: I’m feeding my fucking mouth. With these fucking scrumptious berries.

(via mararie)

Yeah, well, you look upside-down to me when you eat, so fuck off and let me injest this hunk of fucking creamy-ass deliciousness in peace.

(via becre8tv)

Goddamn this is fucking chewy.

But I chased it down and killed it, and I’m going to fucking eat it, if it’s the last thing I do.

(via theonlycakey)

First I’ll eat the baby shoes, then the baby.

Heh heh heh heh heh.

I’m like some kind of evil fucking genius or something.

(via Shards Of Blue)

Come on, you wiggly bastard. In!

(via James Edward Fox)

Give me that E and let’s get this motherfucking rave started!

Via:glamourcats

Ah, fuck, man. I wanted nachos.

(via Bert Berg)